I just had an epiphany. I mean literally, just now.
I need a reason. The most important question I ask myself is “Why?”
In order for me to expend energy, there has to be a reason. A valid reason.
Explanation due here. My brother said that he and my sister were afraid of Dad when growing up. Not scared, just attentively obedient. If Dad said, “Jump,” they said, “How high?” from 5 feet up.
He told me once that he admired me and was amazed when I was little, because I didn’t react the same way to Dad’s orders. (In Truth, I never heard them as orders, but requests. I didn’t find Dad to be demanding. Maybe he had mellowed by the time I came along.)
He said that when Dad told me to do something, I would turn around, look at Dad, and ask, “Why?”
Not to be cheeky, but because I really wanted to know. And if the reason seemed valid to me, then I would happily comply. If not, I would negotiate, and I wouldn’t do anything until it made sense to do it.
So today, I will ask myself “Why?” And if it makes sense, then YES! If it doesn’t, then perhaps the proposed action needs a little modification.
Until there is a valid answer to “Why,” I will continue to Pause, Observe, and Listen.